Funny ≠ Fun

I've spent less time thinking about what makes me happy, and more time thinking about fun.  Sounds like fun, but really, it's not.  Like happiness, fun is highly subjective, but unlike happiness, fun is supposed to occur in a group of people doing something that they like.  Suffice to say that since moving here my stubbornness has prevented me from seeing that what makes me "happy" isn't neccessarily "fun" and it creates inner conflict.

Here's a point to illustrate that.  On Halloween I got the following message in my status feed:

k lets see......this weekend, got crunk, had some hookah(as usual, Went to a Korean Wedding with Sharee, Got Wasted with Bruce, Rennell, Charea, LaToya ( boo on leaving early), George ( got emo about sum other shit), Jamecca ( nice to finally meet you) on a cruise then partied it up at naked with Rian (grinded her),  Rochelle ( still cant remember why you hit me), Christina ( stop it 5), Jaia, alexis, Courtney ( both of them), Orlando, Lindi and too many other cool Singles. Some girl bit me on my chest, thanks to George ducking and diving on her. All in all it was an Epic Weekend. Oh yeah Bruce........ TITTIES!!!!!!

 This is what people I've met seem to do with their spare time.  On one hand, the post is humorous and it's interesting to read about people's debauchery during a weekend.  On the other hand, I feel a little caustic and cold.  All of these people mentioned in the post I've met before, (or at least half of them) and they're nice people and i enjoy their company.  There's one big reason as to why I don't see them, and I had to answer this question honestly.


I don't like to party.  Boo on me.  Blame it on the introversion, or lack of patience and energy, or just on being an old fart, it's not my thing.  I don't enjoy going to da club to sip on bubbly and pretending to be cool and dancing on the floor and flirting with boys who I'm not sure I like.  Sure, there was a time when I was into it, but even that was brief.  About six months, and after that, I got it out of my system, and reconciled with the fact that it wasn't me.  Those settings aren't the most comfortable for me.  I'm the least like myself in a party atmosphere.  And that's not to say there aren't some moments of enjoyment, but they're rare and accompanied by a headache and a hangover later.  A price too high to pay for 10 minutes of a good time.  They're interesting, especially for absorbing interaction but they're not emotionally fulfilling.  They're funny, but not fun.  And funny does not equal fun (as I'm often telling my students).


This is a hard realization to deal with now, because every person I've met here recently is in this mode.  Seoul is a great city with lots to offer and plenty to do, daytime or night time.  Its a place that comes alive in the nigh time, as opposed to San Jose, where most stuff was shut down by 7.  So that's nice, but I'm no longer in the stage of my life where I want to dance the Saturday night away at da club.  I'd rather be in a nice restaurant chatting with people about intimate subjects and getting to know them, or if I do go out, a hookah bar, or a bar with live music.  Plenty of social interaction, still in a large setting with lots of people.  But it's been difficult to find anyone who wants to do that.


I ended up vomiting my emotional yuck on a poor guy last Saturday.  We didn't know each other well, and we just needed to split a cab to get back home.  I've met some girls who I liked through Nano, and while I enjoy their company, they wanted to do bar crawls around Hongdae and sing Norebaum, which there's nothing wrong with, but I don't think it's fun, and it's let me to question if I can become good friends with them.  He bluntly told me no, because they're still in college 2.0. 

Most people who come to Korea are still in college 2.0.  They have stable jobs, but they still like to drink, still like to party, still want to experience being young and free and lack discipline, and he could tell I wasn't there anymore.  Which makes me sad.  There are tons of people where I like them for who they are, but I don't like what they do.  And so, it makes friends difficult.  It's difficult because in college 2.0 you're still living a temporary life, where you're not sure what you like, and if you're not sure what you like, what else is better than partying, because there are lots of people just like you who are unsure of life's courses.  The problem with friendship is that it requires a certainty and an effort to make things work, which people may not want to commit to just yet.