Next year, baby

All I needed for 2010 was a 40 and a hammock

Let's do a recap.  NYE 2010 I was on the beach in Manuel Antonio, drinking a beer and watching fireworks.  2009 I was in a swingers club.  2008 I was in Sacramento, watching more fireworks in the freezing cold.  And 2007 I slept through it because I didn't want to watch another episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter.  And last night what did I do?  Nothing special.  I had drinks with a friend in Beomgye at this really light and stylish lounge called 10.  I mention all the NYE of yore because this one was surprisingly tame.  I didn't want to go out and do anything. I didn't want to watch the ball drop.  I simply wanted to stay in my apartment, but I feel like I was being a bad hostess.  And I was.  I was more focused on cleaning house than I was on my guest.  But it wasn't just the cleaning that left me inexplicably grumpy.  It was...you know I don't know what it was.


2011 was a year of major change for me, mentally, physically and emotionally.  Mentally I've finally gotten into 'work' mode, and the notion of not having a career at my age is starting to eat at me, so I got a job with a regular schedule and quick breaks where I have to dress professionally.  Physically I've been uprooted to three counties and moved 5 times, if we count the transition moves.  And emotionally I'm no longer in the place that I want to be.  It feels more serious, like there's a sense of urgency.  I want to view myself as a reponsible adult and there are some things I can control (like having a job) and some things where I have no control at all (like if I have a relationship).  One thing I will admit, is I've been missing the person I was in college.  She had fun. She did what she wanted.  In lots of ways I'm still that person, but I also want to be the responsible person as well, and a person with responsibilities doesn't always gets to do what they want.

On the immediate front, the fanfare of Korea is starting to die down.  I don't feel so stressed out. I know how to work an ATM and pay my bills, I know where I can buy groceries and what size shoe I wear.  And work has improved.  It no longer feels like I am going to gt fired every two seconds so I can relax a bit, and focus on other things, such as building a community of friends. In Costa Rica it wasn't really possible, but I have the time and the resources to find others, so why not?  I've met a bunch of people, potential friends and whatnot, but there's always trouble.  Things happen, like college 2.0, like a crush turning me down, like someone dumping orange juice on my head (that happened at Christmas) and while I like this group very much, I can't be their friend, and I should just focus on finding friends the old fashioned way-- through interests, so that's my mission for this year, along with some other things.

The delight of NYE for me hasn't been in drinking until my liver drowns, or a NYE kiss, or even getting dressed up.  But it's a time to reflect on the year past, the present moment, and how I can improve my future.